Well done again on the writing, but it's topicality is still an issue. I guess I'm the resident relevance guy now.... Not sure if that is a good thing or not.
More specifically, here are some areas that could be improved upon:
"A doctor finally showed as Francis could suddenly taste. Francis tasted his mouth, " This is slightly odd, as it is not clear if the doctor showed causing his ability to taste, if his ability to taste happened as the doctor arrived, or the fact that he could taste allowed him to notice the doctor who had already been there. Additionally, your description of taste is more a description of touch, admittedly in the mouth, rather than taste itself.
"Next was Francis' scent. " So.... the next thing that happened was Francis' odor? Like, the next thing that happened was that he started to produce a smell? Basically, this area is fine, but you have just used the word word here, where through typo or lack of knowledge.
"Next came Francis' hearing" This is almost a duplicate of the previous into. In general, you want to avoid dulling repetition, especially in particular areas such as paragraph intros. The one exception to this is when you are using repetition to make a point or list, but for that you need more than two repetitions, and normally the repeated sections are exact duplicates in order to increase the effect.
"finally here the area around him" Typo, replace 'here' with 'hear', though how you hear the area around you I am not exactly sure.
" the fact he could here" And here we go again.... 'here' to 'hear'.
"knew this and was the point" Hunh? I can't help you here, because I don't even know what it is you're trying to say....
Overall though, this is very good, and the fact that I can point out specific errors at this level (the fact that an error of this level is an error, or decrease in skill, in comparison to the rest of the story) is a testament to that. Well done, good sir.
no subject
More specifically, here are some areas that could be improved upon:
"A doctor finally showed as Francis could suddenly taste. Francis tasted his mouth, " This is slightly odd, as it is not clear if the doctor showed causing his ability to taste, if his ability to taste happened as the doctor arrived, or the fact that he could taste allowed him to notice the doctor who had already been there. Additionally, your description of taste is more a description of touch, admittedly in the mouth, rather than taste itself.
"Next was Francis' scent. " So.... the next thing that happened was Francis' odor? Like, the next thing that happened was that he started to produce a smell? Basically, this area is fine, but you have just used the word word here, where through typo or lack of knowledge.
"Next came Francis' hearing" This is almost a duplicate of the previous into. In general, you want to avoid dulling repetition, especially in particular areas such as paragraph intros. The one exception to this is when you are using repetition to make a point or list, but for that you need more than two repetitions, and normally the repeated sections are exact duplicates in order to increase the effect.
"finally here the area around him" Typo, replace 'here' with 'hear', though how you hear the area around you I am not exactly sure.
" the fact he could here" And here we go again.... 'here' to 'hear'.
"knew this and was the point" Hunh? I can't help you here, because I don't even know what it is you're trying to say....
Overall though, this is very good, and the fact that I can point out specific errors at this level (the fact that an error of this level is an error, or decrease in skill, in comparison to the rest of the story) is a testament to that. Well done, good sir.