The Blackening - April Fools
Apr. 1st, 2016 11:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
subliminalcircles posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
saladloveOk, so this isn't original. My friend told me this story, and I don't know where this came from, but you know what? Rick Rolling isn't original either, so go and copyright me. Along with the 100 million other Rick Rollers.
However, I wouldn't use this story if I didn't think it would be great for your enyoyment.
Enyoy.
It was a dank, spoopy night. Everything was black, and Tanadin’s car broke down on a lonesome, black country road. She pulled out her phone to call for help, but it had no power. Not a flicker of civilization could be seen, but luckily, she remembered passing a house a mile back, so she started walking. About 10 minutes later, she came upon a black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Tanadin walked up the creaky, black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. A voice replied, “Coming!” The frequency of the voice was as raspy as black chalk on a blackboard. The black door creaked open to reveal a lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Tanadin said tantively: “Excuse me, my car broke down a mile down the road, and it won't start back up. My phone is dead. May I use yours?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Tanadin thanked the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Tanadin to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Tan opened the first black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp, a black alarm clock, and a black book. The black book had a black hardcover, a black title that read Black, black pages, and black font. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Tanadin walked over to the black bed and, deciding that it was physically impossible for one to sleep with so many black covers, removed seven black blankets, seven black quilts, and seven black comforters. After they were folded neatly and placed outside the black door of the black room, Tanadin tucked herself in the black bed and went to sleep.
An hour later, Hawk’s car broke down two miles down the road. Having forgotten her phone at home, she remembered the black house on the road two miles back. After 20 minutes of walking, she came upon a black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Hawk hopped up the black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. The lady replied, “Coming!” The black door opened to reveal the lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Hawk squawked: “Excuse me, my car broke down two miles down the road, and it won't start back up. I don’t have my phone. May I use yours?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Hawk thanked the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Hawk to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Hawk opened the second black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp and a black plate with some black toast and a plastic, black fork. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Hawk walked up to the black bed and, deciding that there weren’t enough black blankets, checked the hall for some extras, luckily finding seven black blankets, seven black quilts, and seven black comforters outside the first black door. After taking them for herself, she made a nest on the bed, curled up, and went to sleep.
Another hour later, Jimmy’s car broke down on the lonesome, country road. She reached for her phone, but she couldn’t find it! (She found it a few days later inside the briefcase of Jimmy Jams she was delivering.) She remembered passing the black house three miles back. 30 minutes later, she arrived to the black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Jimmy rolled up the black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. The lady replied, “Coming!” The black door opened to reveal the lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Jimmy screeched: “EXCUSE ME, MY CAR BROKE DOWN THREE MILES DOWN THE ROAD, AND IT WON’T START BACK UP. I CAN’T FIND MY PHONE. MAY I USE YOURS?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Jimmy THANKED the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Jimmy to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Jim opened the third black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp and a small, black safe. Jimmy put in the code ‘BLACK’ and recieved a small of heap of black Jimmy Jams from the safe. Her Jimmy Jams. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Jimmy went up to the bed. Pleased with the amount of black blankets, she succumbed to her true form and rolled herself up into a black burrito. The happy, black burrito went to sleep.
In the morning, the lady wearing the black dress, black shoes, black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry knocked on the first black door to the right. Tanadin dazedly looked up at the black silhouette in the door frame. The lady asked her what she would like for breakfast.
“Cheerios, ma’am,” replied Tanadin.
“Okay, I will bring them in a few minutes.” With that, the lady closed the black door. Next, she went to the second black door to the right and was greeted by the sight of Hawk dazing in a black roost. The lady asked what she would like for breakfast.
“Cinnamon Toast Crunch, please!” Hawk squawked.
“Okay, I will bring them in a few minutes.” With that, the lady closed the black door. Finally, she went to the third black door to the right and was greeted by the sight of Jimmy meditating in her black blanket burrito form. The lady asked what she would like for breakfast.
“CHEERIOS WOULD BE NICE,” Jimmy shrieked.
Therefor, Cheerios are statistically better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
However, I wouldn't use this story if I didn't think it would be great for your enyoyment.
Enyoy.
It was a dank, spoopy night. Everything was black, and Tanadin’s car broke down on a lonesome, black country road. She pulled out her phone to call for help, but it had no power. Not a flicker of civilization could be seen, but luckily, she remembered passing a house a mile back, so she started walking. About 10 minutes later, she came upon a black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Tanadin walked up the creaky, black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. A voice replied, “Coming!” The frequency of the voice was as raspy as black chalk on a blackboard. The black door creaked open to reveal a lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Tanadin said tantively: “Excuse me, my car broke down a mile down the road, and it won't start back up. My phone is dead. May I use yours?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Tanadin thanked the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Tanadin to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Tan opened the first black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp, a black alarm clock, and a black book. The black book had a black hardcover, a black title that read Black, black pages, and black font. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Tanadin walked over to the black bed and, deciding that it was physically impossible for one to sleep with so many black covers, removed seven black blankets, seven black quilts, and seven black comforters. After they were folded neatly and placed outside the black door of the black room, Tanadin tucked herself in the black bed and went to sleep.
An hour later, Hawk’s car broke down two miles down the road. Having forgotten her phone at home, she remembered the black house on the road two miles back. After 20 minutes of walking, she came upon a black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Hawk hopped up the black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. The lady replied, “Coming!” The black door opened to reveal the lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Hawk squawked: “Excuse me, my car broke down two miles down the road, and it won't start back up. I don’t have my phone. May I use yours?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Hawk thanked the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Hawk to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Hawk opened the second black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp and a black plate with some black toast and a plastic, black fork. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Hawk walked up to the black bed and, deciding that there weren’t enough black blankets, checked the hall for some extras, luckily finding seven black blankets, seven black quilts, and seven black comforters outside the first black door. After taking them for herself, she made a nest on the bed, curled up, and went to sleep.
Another hour later, Jimmy’s car broke down on the lonesome, country road. She reached for her phone, but she couldn’t find it! (She found it a few days later inside the briefcase of Jimmy Jams she was delivering.) She remembered passing the black house three miles back. 30 minutes later, she arrived to the black house with black walls, a black roof, a black chimney, and some black windows. Jimmy rolled up the black stairs to the black porch where there was a black rocking chair and an unlit lantern (that was also black). She knocked three times on the black door. The lady replied, “Coming!” The black door opened to reveal the lady wearing a black dress, black shoes, a black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry.
Jimmy screeched: “EXCUSE ME, MY CAR BROKE DOWN THREE MILES DOWN THE ROAD, AND IT WON’T START BACK UP. I CAN’T FIND MY PHONE. MAY I USE YOURS?”
“I will do better,” the lady insisted. “You may stay for the night.”
Jimmy THANKED the lady, and she led her to her room. They passed through the black living room. It had black wallpaper, a black floor, black lamps, a black table, a black sofa, black chairs, a black fireplace, a black rug, and a black chandelier. They went up the black stairs lined with black paintings, and they entered a black hallway with black carpeting, black walls, and black lighting fixtures. The lady told Jimmy to make herself at home, and she went back downstairs. Jim opened the third black door to the right to reveal a black room with a black bed, black mattress, black sheets, black blankets, black pillows, black pillowcases, black comforters, and black quilts. Beside the black bed was a black nightstand that had a black lamp and a small, black safe. Jimmy put in the code ‘BLACK’ and recieved a small of heap of black Jimmy Jams from the safe. Her Jimmy Jams. Around the room was a black wardrobe with black clothes, a black mirror, and a black hat stand.
Jimmy went up to the bed. Pleased with the amount of black blankets, she succumbed to her true form and rolled herself up into a black burrito. The happy, black burrito went to sleep.
In the morning, the lady wearing the black dress, black shoes, black hat, black scarf, and black jewelry knocked on the first black door to the right. Tanadin dazedly looked up at the black silhouette in the door frame. The lady asked her what she would like for breakfast.
“Cheerios, ma’am,” replied Tanadin.
“Okay, I will bring them in a few minutes.” With that, the lady closed the black door. Next, she went to the second black door to the right and was greeted by the sight of Hawk dazing in a black roost. The lady asked what she would like for breakfast.
“Cinnamon Toast Crunch, please!” Hawk squawked.
“Okay, I will bring them in a few minutes.” With that, the lady closed the black door. Finally, she went to the third black door to the right and was greeted by the sight of Jimmy meditating in her black blanket burrito form. The lady asked what she would like for breakfast.
“CHEERIOS WOULD BE NICE,” Jimmy shrieked.
Therefor, Cheerios are statistically better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
