Entry tags:
Scott's Shenanigans Vol. 2
Anyone remember volume 1? Well it was a bunch of silly one shots I wrote when I had no wifi, not really meant to be taken seriously at all. Volume 2's a bunch of one off assignments I did for a writing class, slightly less silly.
Blind:
He pushes open the door, feeling it’s sleek material on his soft hands- it’s made of some kind of wood, he decides. The door is also a lot lighter than he predicted, he hears it swing open and hit the hollow wall to his right. The dull thud of the knob making contact marks his entrance.
The first thing that hits him is the room’s rustic smell, it’s reminiscent of a dusty old book being opened for the first time in years. The aroma of strong coffee mixes in, strengthening the sense of a rustic building. The next thing he smells is a sharp contrast, the sweet aroma of maple syrup and fresh berries. His nose wrinkles instinctively, the sweet stench too intense for his liking.
Voices echo off of the low roof, causing a crowded sensation to fill the building. Despite this, he’s aware of the restaurant’s generally empty status. He makes out the words of an old couple through the echoes. They speak with the passion of a couple of young lovers, admitting their compassion to one another for the first time; However, the vocabulary of the pair resembles that of a duo who knows every detail about the others life.
The room is warm, likely due to the heated kitchen where he can hear the murmurs and buzzing of various appliances. A step forward confirms a hard wooden floor which squeaks beneath his step. The air is dry, yet it offers the same sweet tinge on his tongue as it did for his nose. A chipper, feminine voice he knows with every fiber of his being booms through his ears. It fills his chest with a warmth that the dry air could never achieve.
"Grandpa!”
-
55 Fiction:
Standing 5’ 2”, black suit and Violet tie, sweat beading down her forehead. The condescending eyes of the room all locked onto her. She opens the suitcase, beginning to speak- her voice cracks- the eyes narrow. She finishes with a hesitant bow…
Applause. Her idea’s accepted, enrollment guaranteed. The first female student of Surok Academy.
-
Apocalypse Haiku (yes this is a TWS reference):
Brown leaves, a tall oak.
Many steps to the bottom.
Just a single jump.
-
Love Reborn:
A bird once flew into my room.
Feathers range from rose red,
To a bright sky blue.
Why is this bird in my room?
It tells a story, a tale of love.
There once were two birds,
But now there’s just one…
Why is there but one bird in my room?
It flies around, a beautiful sight,
How could this bird be alone in life?
I offer it a permanent stay,
It’s now the love that makes our room great.
Postin on mobile so if there's anything you dislike or that's wrong attribute it to that, not to any lack of skill I may have.
Blind:
He pushes open the door, feeling it’s sleek material on his soft hands- it’s made of some kind of wood, he decides. The door is also a lot lighter than he predicted, he hears it swing open and hit the hollow wall to his right. The dull thud of the knob making contact marks his entrance.
The first thing that hits him is the room’s rustic smell, it’s reminiscent of a dusty old book being opened for the first time in years. The aroma of strong coffee mixes in, strengthening the sense of a rustic building. The next thing he smells is a sharp contrast, the sweet aroma of maple syrup and fresh berries. His nose wrinkles instinctively, the sweet stench too intense for his liking.
Voices echo off of the low roof, causing a crowded sensation to fill the building. Despite this, he’s aware of the restaurant’s generally empty status. He makes out the words of an old couple through the echoes. They speak with the passion of a couple of young lovers, admitting their compassion to one another for the first time; However, the vocabulary of the pair resembles that of a duo who knows every detail about the others life.
The room is warm, likely due to the heated kitchen where he can hear the murmurs and buzzing of various appliances. A step forward confirms a hard wooden floor which squeaks beneath his step. The air is dry, yet it offers the same sweet tinge on his tongue as it did for his nose. A chipper, feminine voice he knows with every fiber of his being booms through his ears. It fills his chest with a warmth that the dry air could never achieve.
"Grandpa!”
-
55 Fiction:
Standing 5’ 2”, black suit and Violet tie, sweat beading down her forehead. The condescending eyes of the room all locked onto her. She opens the suitcase, beginning to speak- her voice cracks- the eyes narrow. She finishes with a hesitant bow…
Applause. Her idea’s accepted, enrollment guaranteed. The first female student of Surok Academy.
-
Apocalypse Haiku (yes this is a TWS reference):
Brown leaves, a tall oak.
Many steps to the bottom.
Just a single jump.
-
Love Reborn:
A bird once flew into my room.
Feathers range from rose red,
To a bright sky blue.
Why is this bird in my room?
It tells a story, a tale of love.
There once were two birds,
But now there’s just one…
Why is there but one bird in my room?
It flies around, a beautiful sight,
How could this bird be alone in life?
I offer it a permanent stay,
It’s now the love that makes our room great.
Postin on mobile so if there's anything you dislike or that's wrong attribute it to that, not to any lack of skill I may have.
no subject
Blind:
Good use of descriptive language. I'm guessing you used this to practice it. You really nailed it. I sense a bit of paradox here (mostly with the couple scene). Not sure if that's what you were going for, but it was done well.
Don't be afraid of semicolons! They're your friends and I see a couple places where they could have been used to make the sentence more grammatically correct.
"The door is also a lot lighter than he predicted, he hears it swing open and hit the hollow wall to his right." This sentence could be split in two or the comma could be replaced with a semicolon. As of now it's 2 sentences trying to be one without a conjunction of any sort.
"The first thing that hits him is the room’s rustic smell, it’s reminiscent of a dusty old book being opened for the first time in years." Not sure why the 'it's' is here. It breaks the sentence.
"Brown leaves, a tall oak.
Many steps to the bottom.
Just a single jump."
Clash memes shall NEVER DIE!
But seriously clash, there was a ladder RIGHT THERE.
But of course, any criticism here can be deflected due to mobile. Mobile sucks.
no subject