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saladlove"I would like my gesture to shock everyone. It must come from out of the blue, make virtually no sense, stun all involved, and have a lasting, profoundly unintelligible impact an all future events."
Begins with Lincoln walking around Washington DC when suddenly Jackson bursts from the shade and hits Lincoln with a stick. Lincoln fights back with his hat but Suddenly Robert E Lee! Now it's Lincoln vs Stonewall and Lee but suddenly US Grant bursts out of a building like the reverse Kool-Aid man. Grant uses his APPRoPriAtE INITIALS SUPLEX to suplex Jackson into a brick wall. Stonewall Jackson uses his WALL COMMUNION ability and fuses with the wall, becoming Brickwall Jackson. While everyone is boggling at whatever just happened, a bunch of random soldiers from both sides enter and start beating the crap out of each other.
Behind a nearby building, John Wilkes Booth is stroking his non-existent mustache in a efj[oiasdhf[oiahsdfj way. He's like oooooh look at my mustache that doesn't exist. It so curly.
He's going to Kill Lincoln. In the commotion, Lincoln begins to retreat to the White House to try to get a message out to invade the South while Lee is distracted. Booth sneaks up behind him, and is about to shoot him when...
He is knocked down by Past Abraham Lincoln from the Future!
PAL takes Booth's Gun, shoots him in the knee, takes the broken kneecap, and rejoins his self in the future relative to us, completing the time loop.
Current Lincoln picks up PAL's Gun and puts it in his HAT STORAGE. He then walks over to the White House to plan his next move. However, he never gets there.
The soldiers are done beating the crap out of each other. Having more generals than Grant, there is an impasse. They spend a few minutes staring dramatically at each other when Lee realizes that Lincoln isn't here. Suddenly, Past Lee appears and warns Current Lee about Lincoln going to call a surprise attack on the South. Having fulfilled the loop condition, Future Lee runs off to other weird time stuff that probably won't be relevant in the future in any way at all ever.
Lee uses his SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY ability to give the soldiers shelter in other peoples homes in Virginia. There weren't enough houses, though. Suddenly, three more Brickwall Jacksons appeared and used their WALL COMMUNION ability to create a suitable brick dwelling for the soldiers. This caused a paradox, making a meteor crash from the sky, killing the three FBWs and creating a crater. Investigating the impact site, Jackson is stunned to discover that a baby version of himself carrying a sizable rock, which was a piece of the cooled meteor. It was then Jackson knew that he had to get himself back to his birthplace and, by existing, already had. Well, he didn't realize this, as he was still really confused, but he figured he should go and ask his mother some serious questions.
Meanwhile, Abraham Lincoln was about to enter the White House when, with a sudden crackle of electricity, Benjamin Franklin's floating animated skull appears to Lincoln from a portal in time. The portal closes and Franklin explains to Lincoln that he is from the far off year of 1966, where an experiment to revive Walt Disney's frozen head under Disney world failed and instead brought the attention of LORD ANTEBELLUM, a mysterious man who desired to restore the world to a pre-civil war state. Realizing that revival using the heads of the dead was now within reach, he kidnapped and taped together tens of thousands of monkeys and used the static electricity generated from the monkeys rubbing fur to power the REVIVAL MACHINE, a giant chandelier made of monkeys with enough organic matter and brain power to revive a skull. Because Einstein's brain was cut up into pieces and hidden, Lord Antebellum decided to revive Benjamin Franklin, who had hung out with Einstein and the two along with Issac Newton had created the concept for the first time machine, though were unable to build it due to the whole being dead thing. When Franklin was revived, he melted the REVIVAL MACHINE, releasing all of the monkeys and making some nice BBQ. LA ordered Franklin to build him the time machine, so he discovers the Grandfather Clock Time Machine, which allows travel to the past and future by winding the clock's hands to the point in time you want to go to and swinging the pendulum to either future or past. However, he betrays LA, turning back time to warn Lincoln about the coming threat and taking the Grandfather Clock Time Machine with him. He explains that the machine is stored within his LIGHTNING ROD STORAGE and can only be accessed if the skull is struck by lightning. Therefore, they will have to find a way to strike the head with lightning. Also, get a new storage system, because that seems pretty inconvenient.
Lincoln asks if it's possible to stop LA. Unfortunately, as FranKlin points out, LA is likely already here if he got his hands on a time machine. Fortunately, Franklin never wrote down his plans for the machine, having never planned to help LA in the first place. So, as long as they could destroy the machine and keep it out of LAs hands, they should be ok. Lincoln asks why they don't just leave the machine inside of the LIGHTNING ROD STORAGE. Franklin explains that in order to save Lincoln's life, time travel will be used by them, meaning that they will inevitably use time travel, as they have in a sense already done it, just not from their perspective. They go to search for a way to strike the skull with lightning.
US Grant, having beaten the rebels back for the time being, leaves some troops stationed to defend the capitol, goes to find Lincoln to come up with a plan to storm Richmond while Lee is away. Suddenly, a giant crate falls out of the sky. Grant opens it. It is full of mangos. Grant takes one of the mangos and is suddenly hit by a bus from the future, shedding his temporary physical form and having his soul be sealed inside of the mango. Luckily, it was just a vision, and Grant was able to jump out of the way of a cart that was about to run him over. However, Grant did feel some of himself be absorbed into the mango. He decided to put it in his FLAG STORAGE for safekeeping.
SUDDENLY WE FOCUS ON SOME MOBSTERS FOR SOME REASON
In the relative future (LA’s Present), a group of dice-themed mobsters prepares to invade a KKK hideout owned by LA, who they understand to be a rival mob leader who’s invaded their turf. The rival gang recently attempted to lynch one of their members and they’re getting revenge. The gang is made up of their leader, D20, D12, D10, D8, and D6.h This takes place after Franklin creates the GCTM and traveled back in time away from LA, who is now furious.
FUTURE EVENTS NOT PUT INTO STORY YET:
What Grant does at some point:
Grant time travels to the future at some point. Though he doesn’t realize it at first, Grant is in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World in florida. He is overwhelmed when he realizes that surrounding him are all of the presidents of the past and even some he doesn’t recognize. He is even more shocked when he sees himself there, which plants the idea in his head for an eventual campaign bid. (He doesn’t realize they’re robots yet.) He is then greeted by the person who turns out to be his descendant, who was there because Grant left a message for his descendants to be there at this day at this time and to talk to a man that looks like him.The descendant explains that the presidents there are robots and not actually the presidents. Little do they know that the president robots are actually high tech security robots with weapons concealed. The robots activate and begin attacking. Grant uses his PATRIOtiSM FIELD to generate a field surrounding him of pure patriotism that the robots can’t help but stop and salute the flag. While hyped up on patriotism, Grant delivers a rousing speech to them to fulfill their duty to their country and join him in fighting the south. Grant performs a symbolic handshake with Grantbot and they both salute each other, causing the robots to cheer and be inspired to join Grant in the fight. They then time travel back, robots in tow and Grant realizing that he needs to leave a note for his descendant in the future. His descendant comes with him.
jackson’s ending:
Jackson, Grant, Lincoln, and Franklin temporarily join forces to get Franklin up into the sky to get struck by lightning by firing him out of a giant cannon. While they aren't paying attention, Grant pushes Stonewall into the cannon and Stonewall is fired out along with the head. Franklin is struck by lightning, releasing the Grandfather Clock Time Machine. The energy from the lightning strike qcauses a massive amount of physical and temporal energy to be released from the clock, catapulting Stonewall into space and through time to land on the meteor in the relative past, where the temporal energy released by the grandfather clock time machine causes him to de-age into a baby. The baby will later land and be picked up by Jackson himself and placed in Cinder Block Storage. Pushing Jackson into the cannon released his STORAGE ABSTRACTION, causing the Cinder Block Storage to open and revealing the baby Jackson inside. Lincoln finds the baby and, seeing that it needs a home, puts it in his Hat Storage to later give to the woman who will eventually become Jackson's mother after time traveling into the past when Grant attempts to attempt to kill Jackson before he was a threat as a baby. He is unaware that the baby is actually past Stonewall Jackson. This completes the closed time loop of Stonewall Jackson.
Begins with Lincoln walking around Washington DC when suddenly Jackson bursts from the shade and hits Lincoln with a stick. Lincoln fights back with his hat but Suddenly Robert E Lee! Now it's Lincoln vs Stonewall and Lee but suddenly US Grant bursts out of a building like the reverse Kool-Aid man. Grant uses his APPRoPriAtE INITIALS SUPLEX to suplex Jackson into a brick wall. Stonewall Jackson uses his WALL COMMUNION ability and fuses with the wall, becoming Brickwall Jackson. While everyone is boggling at whatever just happened, a bunch of random soldiers from both sides enter and start beating the crap out of each other.
Behind a nearby building, John Wilkes Booth is stroking his non-existent mustache in a efj[oiasdhf[oiahsdfj way. He's like oooooh look at my mustache that doesn't exist. It so curly.
He's going to Kill Lincoln. In the commotion, Lincoln begins to retreat to the White House to try to get a message out to invade the South while Lee is distracted. Booth sneaks up behind him, and is about to shoot him when...
He is knocked down by Past Abraham Lincoln from the Future!
PAL takes Booth's Gun, shoots him in the knee, takes the broken kneecap, and rejoins his self in the future relative to us, completing the time loop.
Current Lincoln picks up PAL's Gun and puts it in his HAT STORAGE. He then walks over to the White House to plan his next move. However, he never gets there.
The soldiers are done beating the crap out of each other. Having more generals than Grant, there is an impasse. They spend a few minutes staring dramatically at each other when Lee realizes that Lincoln isn't here. Suddenly, Past Lee appears and warns Current Lee about Lincoln going to call a surprise attack on the South. Having fulfilled the loop condition, Future Lee runs off to other weird time stuff that probably won't be relevant in the future in any way at all ever.
Lee uses his SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY ability to give the soldiers shelter in other peoples homes in Virginia. There weren't enough houses, though. Suddenly, three more Brickwall Jacksons appeared and used their WALL COMMUNION ability to create a suitable brick dwelling for the soldiers. This caused a paradox, making a meteor crash from the sky, killing the three FBWs and creating a crater. Investigating the impact site, Jackson is stunned to discover that a baby version of himself carrying a sizable rock, which was a piece of the cooled meteor. It was then Jackson knew that he had to get himself back to his birthplace and, by existing, already had. Well, he didn't realize this, as he was still really confused, but he figured he should go and ask his mother some serious questions.
Meanwhile, Abraham Lincoln was about to enter the White House when, with a sudden crackle of electricity, Benjamin Franklin's floating animated skull appears to Lincoln from a portal in time. The portal closes and Franklin explains to Lincoln that he is from the far off year of 1966, where an experiment to revive Walt Disney's frozen head under Disney world failed and instead brought the attention of LORD ANTEBELLUM, a mysterious man who desired to restore the world to a pre-civil war state. Realizing that revival using the heads of the dead was now within reach, he kidnapped and taped together tens of thousands of monkeys and used the static electricity generated from the monkeys rubbing fur to power the REVIVAL MACHINE, a giant chandelier made of monkeys with enough organic matter and brain power to revive a skull. Because Einstein's brain was cut up into pieces and hidden, Lord Antebellum decided to revive Benjamin Franklin, who had hung out with Einstein and the two along with Issac Newton had created the concept for the first time machine, though were unable to build it due to the whole being dead thing. When Franklin was revived, he melted the REVIVAL MACHINE, releasing all of the monkeys and making some nice BBQ. LA ordered Franklin to build him the time machine, so he discovers the Grandfather Clock Time Machine, which allows travel to the past and future by winding the clock's hands to the point in time you want to go to and swinging the pendulum to either future or past. However, he betrays LA, turning back time to warn Lincoln about the coming threat and taking the Grandfather Clock Time Machine with him. He explains that the machine is stored within his LIGHTNING ROD STORAGE and can only be accessed if the skull is struck by lightning. Therefore, they will have to find a way to strike the head with lightning. Also, get a new storage system, because that seems pretty inconvenient.
Lincoln asks if it's possible to stop LA. Unfortunately, as FranKlin points out, LA is likely already here if he got his hands on a time machine. Fortunately, Franklin never wrote down his plans for the machine, having never planned to help LA in the first place. So, as long as they could destroy the machine and keep it out of LAs hands, they should be ok. Lincoln asks why they don't just leave the machine inside of the LIGHTNING ROD STORAGE. Franklin explains that in order to save Lincoln's life, time travel will be used by them, meaning that they will inevitably use time travel, as they have in a sense already done it, just not from their perspective. They go to search for a way to strike the skull with lightning.
US Grant, having beaten the rebels back for the time being, leaves some troops stationed to defend the capitol, goes to find Lincoln to come up with a plan to storm Richmond while Lee is away. Suddenly, a giant crate falls out of the sky. Grant opens it. It is full of mangos. Grant takes one of the mangos and is suddenly hit by a bus from the future, shedding his temporary physical form and having his soul be sealed inside of the mango. Luckily, it was just a vision, and Grant was able to jump out of the way of a cart that was about to run him over. However, Grant did feel some of himself be absorbed into the mango. He decided to put it in his FLAG STORAGE for safekeeping.
SUDDENLY WE FOCUS ON SOME MOBSTERS FOR SOME REASON
In the relative future (LA’s Present), a group of dice-themed mobsters prepares to invade a KKK hideout owned by LA, who they understand to be a rival mob leader who’s invaded their turf. The rival gang recently attempted to lynch one of their members and they’re getting revenge. The gang is made up of their leader, D20, D12, D10, D8, and D6.h This takes place after Franklin creates the GCTM and traveled back in time away from LA, who is now furious.
FUTURE EVENTS NOT PUT INTO STORY YET:
What Grant does at some point:
Grant time travels to the future at some point. Though he doesn’t realize it at first, Grant is in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World in florida. He is overwhelmed when he realizes that surrounding him are all of the presidents of the past and even some he doesn’t recognize. He is even more shocked when he sees himself there, which plants the idea in his head for an eventual campaign bid. (He doesn’t realize they’re robots yet.) He is then greeted by the person who turns out to be his descendant, who was there because Grant left a message for his descendants to be there at this day at this time and to talk to a man that looks like him.The descendant explains that the presidents there are robots and not actually the presidents. Little do they know that the president robots are actually high tech security robots with weapons concealed. The robots activate and begin attacking. Grant uses his PATRIOtiSM FIELD to generate a field surrounding him of pure patriotism that the robots can’t help but stop and salute the flag. While hyped up on patriotism, Grant delivers a rousing speech to them to fulfill their duty to their country and join him in fighting the south. Grant performs a symbolic handshake with Grantbot and they both salute each other, causing the robots to cheer and be inspired to join Grant in the fight. They then time travel back, robots in tow and Grant realizing that he needs to leave a note for his descendant in the future. His descendant comes with him.
jackson’s ending:
Jackson, Grant, Lincoln, and Franklin temporarily join forces to get Franklin up into the sky to get struck by lightning by firing him out of a giant cannon. While they aren't paying attention, Grant pushes Stonewall into the cannon and Stonewall is fired out along with the head. Franklin is struck by lightning, releasing the Grandfather Clock Time Machine. The energy from the lightning strike qcauses a massive amount of physical and temporal energy to be released from the clock, catapulting Stonewall into space and through time to land on the meteor in the relative past, where the temporal energy released by the grandfather clock time machine causes him to de-age into a baby. The baby will later land and be picked up by Jackson himself and placed in Cinder Block Storage. Pushing Jackson into the cannon released his STORAGE ABSTRACTION, causing the Cinder Block Storage to open and revealing the baby Jackson inside. Lincoln finds the baby and, seeing that it needs a home, puts it in his Hat Storage to later give to the woman who will eventually become Jackson's mother after time traveling into the past when Grant attempts to attempt to kill Jackson before he was a threat as a baby. He is unaware that the baby is actually past Stonewall Jackson. This completes the closed time loop of Stonewall Jackson.
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Date: 2018-07-27 04:44 pm (UTC)-Observing Anon
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Date: 2018-07-31 03:57 pm (UTC)